How to write your wedding guest list, with a simple template

Quick answer: write your wedding guest list in five steps: agree a total with your venue and budget, list everyone you would love there, sort them into circles, trim with rules you both apply, then split day and evening. Keep one row per invitation with names, mobile number, reply and meal choice, so it becomes your reply tracker.

The wedding guest list is usually the first real decision you make together, and it quietly sets your budget, your venue and your seating plan. It is also where feelings run high. The way through is to agree the rules before you argue about names. Below is a step-by-step method, a simple template you can copy into a spreadsheet or notebook, and fair ways to handle plus ones, children and parents’ wishes.

How many guests should you invite?

Start with the number your venue holds and your budget covers, then build the list to fit, not the other way round. Most catering is priced per head, so every name has a cost attached.

For a sense of scale, Bridebook’s UK Wedding Report 2026, which looks at weddings held in 2025, puts the average at 74 guests during the day, with 21 more joining in the evening. Your own number can be far smaller or larger. What matters is that the two of you agree it before anyone starts adding names.

How do you write a wedding guest list, step by step?

Work through it in this order, and you will avoid most of the difficult conversations:

1. Agree your total. One number for the day and one for the evening, based on your venue and your budget.
2. Write your lists separately, then merge. Each of you lists everyone you would love to be there, without editing. Then put the two lists together and remove duplicates.
3. Sort everyone into circles. Closest family and friends first, then wider family, then friends, then colleagues and acquaintances.
4. Trim with rules, not names. Agree a few simple rules and apply them to both sides equally, such as “we have both met them” or “we have seen them in the last year”. Rules feel fairer than debating one person at a time.
5. Split day and evening. Move guests who sit on the edge of your day list to the evening, where there is usually more room.

If parents are contributing, talk to them early about how many guests they would like and how that fits your total. It is much easier to agree a number in advance than to remove names later.

What should a wedding guest list template include?

Use one row per invitation, not per person, and count the heads separately. That way the list you write now becomes the list you use to track replies later. These are the columns worth having:

• Names on the invitation: everyone invited at that address, children included, exactly as you will write them.
• Number of guests: how many people that invitation covers.
• Circle: close family, wider family, friends or colleagues, so trimming is easier.
• Day or evening.
• Mobile number: for the person who will reply for that household.
• Reply: yes, no or waiting.
• Meal choice and dietary needs.
• Notes: anything useful, such as travel or accessibility needs.

A finished row might read: Sarah and James Okafor, with Lily | three | Friends | Day | Sarah’s mobile | Yes | Two beef, one children’s meal | Lily has a nut allergy. When dietary needs sit next to the reply, your caterer’s list practically writes itself. Our guide to collecting dietary requirements with your RSVPs explains what to ask.

How do you handle plus ones and children?

Choose a rule and apply it to everyone. Common approaches are plus ones only for guests in a settled relationship, or only for partners you have both met. For children, you might invite only close family, or keep the day for adults and welcome children in the evening.

Whatever you decide, the invitation does the talking: whoever is named is invited. Our guide to wedding invitation wording shows how to name guests clearly so nobody has to ask.

When should your guest list be final?

Your day list should be settled before save the dates or invitations go out, because adding guests later is awkward and removing them is worse. Some couples keep a short second list of people they would invite if early declines come in. If you do, send any second wave promptly, so it still arrives as a normal invitation with the same reply date.

Your reply date then works back from when your caterer needs final numbers. Our guide to setting your RSVP deadline walks through the timing.

Where do couples get stuck with replies?

A tidy guest list is only half the job; the other half is filling in the reply column. The time: answers arrive by text, email, card and conversation, and someone has to move each one onto the list. The chasing: a few guests always go quiet, and nudging them falls to one of you, often a friend or relative you would rather not pester. The money: until the list is complete you are paying for a guessed headcount, which is why a late RSVP costs more than patience. And the last-minute pressure: the week your caterer wants final numbers is exactly when the gaps show.

How does AisleReply take the job off you?

Once your guest list is ready, AisleReply looks after the replies. Each guest gets a personal WhatsApp message and replies in the chat, in their own language. Meal choices and dietary needs come back in that same reply, so there is no second round of questions. Gentle reminders go out on their own to anyone who has gone quiet, and you can watch a live headcount build as the answers arrive. Your reply column fills itself in, and you get your evenings back. Our guide to collecting wedding RSVPs on WhatsApp explains more, and chasing RSVPs without the awkwardness covers the guests who still go quiet.

FAQs

Should we split the guest list evenly between our families?

Not necessarily. An even split feels fair on paper, but it rarely fits real families. Agree a total first, then share it in the way that makes sense for the two of you, and explain your thinking to parents early.

Do we have to invite colleagues?

No. Many couples invite only the colleagues they see outside work. If you invite one person from a team, think about how it will feel to the others, and keep the same rule for both of you.

Is it rude to have a second list of guests?

Not if nobody feels like a second choice. Send any second wave of invitations early enough that it reads as a normal invitation, and give those guests the same reply date as everyone else.

Should we keep guests’ mobile numbers on the list?

Yes, if you plan to collect replies on WhatsApp. Note the number of the person who will reply for each household, and keep the list private between the two of you.

The short version

Agree your number before your names. List freely, sort into circles, trim with rules you both apply, then split day and evening. Keep one row per invitation with the names, a mobile number, the reply and the meal choice, and your guest list becomes the tracker that gets you to final numbers. For more help with the replies side of your wedding, browse the rest of our guides or see how AisleReply works.